sometimes, it just takes something beautiful to change a downright depressing situation and turn it upside down…

sometimes, it takes a simple yet well meant smile to brighten my day…

and the one thing that I’ve longed to hear after everything has been said and done is…

“I love you too”

* * * * *

this blog entry has been long delayed and I regret every minute I procrastinated posting this. actually, the whole point of making this post is to tell everyone who’s every read my dreary and depressing blog that -

happy endings are possible

yes! you heard me right the first time. getting a happy ending is definitely possible! mine came at just the right time. I’ve never felt so alive, so happy…so free. All the sadness, all the depressing angst and bitterness seem like a lifetime away from me. I’m changed man! and all it really took was an open heart & open mind. I’ve never even dreamed I’d get someone who actually “fit” my profile of the perfect girl. I was about ready to settle for “anyone” else and say good bye to ever finding that “perfect one for me”. but again, happy endings are possible…

I thank God every morning for giving me some one to love and to actually have her love me back. its so amazing and yet so simple…love isn’t - was never - a “feeling”. love is a choice. to love IS the greatest choice anyone is ever given…every day when you wake up in the morning, I have to decide if I am going to love or if I’m going to take the selfish and inconsiderate route and “not love”…so the trick there is, “fall in love with him/her every morning”…”fall in love with him/her every minute - every second” and life suddenly isn’t so hard…

I know I have a lot more to say, and SHOULD say a lot more..but these are thoughts in my head right now….

(stay tuned, cause there’s more to follow >_<)

p.s. still here in Malaysia…its been 4 weeks now and I can hardly contain my excitement as get ready to fly back home tomorrow. can’t wait to get home so i can hug and kiss my sweetheart…haayy it feels so good to love and BE LOVED!

(i know you’re reading..i love you :-*)

p.p.s. my happy ending is just the start of my new beginning

>>>>>
songs in my brain
stranded - plumb
don’t know why - norah jones
universe & u - kt tunstall
quiet - rachel yamagata
be be your love - rachel yamagata
i wish you love - rachel yamagata
feels like home - chantal kreviazuk
i’m yours - jason mraz
i could not ask for more - sara evans

the past days have been the crappiest days of my life ever since i was "born again-again"…i really wanted to see her nung monday…i really did…i felt so down and depressed and thought maybe seeing her would brighten my day…then i find out that she was at trinoma…i knew i was "cheating" and i knew what her response would be…

i knew she didn’t mean to be so cruel…but at that time i felt like she just ripped up my heart and threw it out like some other girl i knew did to me in my moment of weakness…i know that wasn’t her intention, but it sure felt that way…i was writing in my journal at that time in a coffee shop and i wanted to tear the whole thing apart in frustration…it felt like i was dying, and she was killing a part of me…I KNOW THAT WASN’T HER INTENTION, BUT IT SURE FELT THAT WAY…(i’m guessing maybe she just doesn’t know me that well..how prone i am to getting "depressed")

its like my soul hurts..my heart hurts..its like i cant breathe..i cant think straight…its like im losing my grip…i want to scream and shout and punch anyone in the face and rip my own heart out so i wouldn’t feel what i’m feeling right now…i hate this pit im stuck in…and all this time i need to put up a strong smiling front for everyone else…(i mean…ang labo talaga…i have to be strong and yet honest? cant i look/seem depressed or weak?…ugh…)

im really struggling and i cant find the support my heart is looking for…its so hard to stand alone…i know i got a lot of people backing me up and i know how much God loves me…but i still hit that wall…that difference between "knowing" and "feeling"…its like my head says one thing but my heart feels differently…i know a lot of people care for me, but its different when they’re right beside you holding your hand in that "moment" of darkness…

so here i am…still blogging…still depressed…

BUT..i’m not allowing myself to wallow in all this crap..i need to look to God..i know He loves me..ive been holding on to Him thru this whole thing - thats why i haven’t "gone off the deep end"…

i’m giving up…bahala na kung anu mang mangyari…suko nako…i need a vacation…i need to get away somewhere with myself…i’m so tired of "fighting"…haayy…

thank God for "our daily bread" and Chris Tomlin…"unfailing love" by chris tomlin was playing when i was reading thru today’s daily bread entry…and it suddenly hit me…God’s unfailing love is still there even after everything and everyone lets you down…lets me down…i’m not gonna stay down, but i’m gonna pick myself up and keep on fighting…here’s the entry that really got to me and encouraged me today

February 27, 2008
Buy Without Money
READ: Isaiah 55:1-5
"Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live." —Isaiah 55:3

Isaiah 55
Invitation to the Lord’s Salvation
1 “Is anyone thirsty?
      Come and drink—
      even if you have no money!
   Come, take your choice of wine or milk—
      it’s all free!
2 Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength?
      Why pay for food that does you no good?
   Listen to me, and you will eat what is good.
      You will enjoy the finest food.

3 “Come to me with your ears wide open.
      Listen, and you will find life.
   I will make an everlasting covenant with you.
      I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David.
4 See how I used him to display my power among the peoples.
      I made him a leader among the nations.
5 You also will command nations you do not know,
      and peoples unknown to you will come running to obey,
   because I, the Lord your God,
      the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious.”

A story was told of a wealthy man who felt his son needed to learn gratefulness. So he sent him to stay with a poor farmer’s family. After one month, the son returned. The father asked, “Now don’t you appreciate what we have?” The boy thought for a moment and said, “The family I stayed with is better off. With what they’ve planted, they enjoy meals together. And they always seem to have time for one another.”

This story reminds us that money can’t buy everything. Even though our bodies can live on what money can buy, money can’t keep our souls from withering away. In Isaiah 55, we read: “Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat” (v.1).

Is it possible to buy what truly satisfies without money? Yes, the prophet Isaiah is pointing to the grace of God. This gift is so invaluable that no price tag is adequate. And the one who offers it—Jesus Christ—has paid the full price with His death. When we acknowledge our thirst for God, ask forgiveness for our sins, and accept the finished work of Christ on the cross, we will find spiritual food that satisfies and our soul will live forever!

He’s calling, “Come to Me” (Isa. 55:3).  — Albert Lee

I came to Jesus, and I drank
Of that life-giving stream;
My thirst was quenched, my soul revived,
And now I live in Him.  —Bonar

Only Jesus, the Living Water, satisfies the thirsty soul.

>>>>>
songs in my brain
unfailing love - chris tomlin
your love is extravagant - casting crowns
amazed - casting crowns
all i need is you - hillsong united
from the inside out - hillsong united
bubbly - colbie caillat
the little things - colbie caillat

oh my God! Neil Gaiman rocks… had to post this incase i forget these someday…

"You get what anyone gets - you get a lifetime"

- Death (From The Neil Gaiman Comic Sandman), In Death

God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of
His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any
of the other players,* to being involved in an obscure and complex
version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with balcnk cards, for infinite
stakes, with a Dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all
the time. * i.e., everbody.

- Good Omens By Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, In Religion

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so
vulnerable. It opens your chest and it oepns up your heart and it means
that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these
defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt
you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person,
wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They
didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or
smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes
hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in
the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’
turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts.
Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a
real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

- Neil Gaiman, In Love

When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn’t make the
darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares
still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but
better.’It’s all right’ we whisper, ‘I’m here, I love you.’ and we lie:
‘I’ll never leave you.’ For just a moment or two the darkness doesn’t
seem so bad.

- Neil Gaiman, In Literature/Neil Gaiman

Life is a disease, sexually transmitted and fatal.

- Neil Gaiman, In Philosophy

Sometimes I suspect that we build our traps ourselves, then we back into them, pretending amazment the while.

- Neil Gaiman, In Literature/Neil Gaiman

Charitably… I think… sometimes, perhaps , one must change or
die. And, in the end,there were,perhaps limits to how much he could let
himself change.

- Neil Gaiman,  Lucien/The Sandman, In Literature/Neil Gaiman

Writers are liars my dear, surely you know that by now?

- Neil Gaiman, ‘Sandman: Dream County’, In Literature/Neil Gaiman

But he did not understand the price. Mortals never do. They only
see the prize.Their heart’s desire,their dream… But the price of
getting what you want is getting what you once wanted.

- Neil Gaiman, Dream/The Sandman, In Literature/Neil Gaiman

Things need not have happened to be true. Tales and dreams are
the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes,
and forgot.

- Neil Gaiman, Sandman, In Literature/Neil Gaiman

It has always been the prerogative of children and half wits to
point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half wit remains a
half wit and the emperor remains an emperor.

- Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, In Literature/Neil Gaiman

<taken from http://quotes.prolix.nu/Authors/?Neil_Gaiman>

<song in my brain: Somebody told me - the killers>

its been quite a while since i wrote in my blog, and i think its time to get typing…i will not revert to neither past experiences nor un-blogged events…

m blogging right now so that i don’t fall asleep immediately since i had so much to eat at circles, shang ri la makati… my boss’ treat! loved the food, ate too much i think… anyways, i just realized that i’ve got so much pent up/latent/plugged up emotions.

sometimes i deal with stuff i can’t handle or comprehend by placing all my worries, frustrations, and emotions related to the situation in a mental (emotional) box in my head. and after all thats happened, i think the "i’ll-deal-with-you-later-emotional-box" in my freaking head is getting close to overflowing. maybe its because of stuff stuff… but mainly because i don’t want to deal with what i feel at the moment if there’s a more pressing need at hand. and now all that delaying is finally catching up with me.

anyways, i found the drug that can finally "kill" or eliminate emotion! its RISPERDAL (usually administered to people who have gone through extreme trauma/traumatic situations, or are suffering from PTSD [post traumatic stress disorder])

i also realized now that i hate people who have no sense of humor, who are dim-witted, and who lack a general sense of respect and honor for themselves and for  others… however, i hate most of all selfish people who find gratification at the expense of another… people also fail to see the value of silence and lack self-discipline and respect for themselves and others… they’re mostly a bunch of selfish self-absorbed pricks and bitches…*

*(i realized this during my frequent trips on the mrt, and from a certain event in my recent life)

"some people don’t believe in karma…well for me, karma is another term for a either divine retribution or poetic justice…"

(so in short, up yours motherf*cker!!!)

p.s.
i f*cking hate my birth month/day, so either STFU or GTFO

>>>>>
songs in my brain
grace kelly - mika
love today - mika
relax (take it easy) - mika
lovestoned - justin timberlake
lovestoned (dj tiesto remix) - justin timberlake
rain down on me (dj tiesto remix) - kane
cruisin - kane & nala
southern sun (dj tiesto remix) - paul oakenford
the world i know - collective soul
everybody here wants you - jeff buckley
shadow on the sun - audioslave
cold hard bitch - jet
look what you’ve done - jet
fearless - the bravery
<<<<<

"Leave someone, you have that right. But the least you can do is tell them why. Because what’s worse than being abandoned, is knowing (that) you’re not even worth an explanation." –Peter Parker

*****

so sad yet true…as of now, life sucks big time for me…if i could sum up the entirety of my feelings in one simple phrase, i would say," i’m not ok…"

first she disappears from my life for sometime, then one of my best frends in ateneo suddenly dies, then work and studying begins to pile up on me….THEN I F*CKING FAIL MY SAP BW CERTIFICATION EXAM…if this ain’t my all time low, i dont know wat is….

…i dont think my pathetic heart can take another blow…im just so fed up with all the stuff thats been happening, im beginning to lose focus on what’s important..(and that would be???…..[pls dont tel me what's important, im just feeling rhetorical]…)

i feel so unloved and uncared for right now…yes yes, i know there are a lot of people around me who support and love me, but right now, I DON’T FEEL "LOVED"…there’s a difference between "knowing ur loved" and "feeling loved"…kahit gaano pa ka sweet or ka lambing ang mga message at salita, nothing beats a nice warm and assuring hug from someone i truly love…pero i dont think i’m even ENTITLED to that small comfort…how can i be hugged if there’s hundreds of miles between her and me, dba?

im just being honest here…it sucks, and there are times that i have to stop and think IF ITS ALL WORTH IT….parang minsan pag nasasaktan nako, pag ginagawa ko na lahat, tapos d nakikita yung dugo at pawis na binubuhos ko sa mga ginagawa ko, nakaka-wala talaga ng gana…i mean, i give and i give, and…yun…i give…yun na yun… and pls, dont give me that "its better to give than to receive" crap…KASI ISANG SIMPLENG HUG LANG HINIHINGI KO, HINDI KO PA MAKUHA….

(!*&#& ^$*(!%* @)!#&^ %@!#………….

haayyy…im too tired and emotionally drained to get mad or to make any moves or watever…n.r. nlng siguro muna ako…

you know what….i give up

>>>>>
songs in my brain…
signal fire - snow patrol
make this go on forever - snow patrol
coffee and cigarettes - michelle featherstone
keep on breathing - the delgados
sink or swim - the delgados
sway - the perishers
somewhere in the middle - dishwalla
as you sleep - something corporate
here i am - kaskade
be still - kaskade
<<<<<

after all this time… haayyy naku!!!! …what a bloody mess this turned out to be…

ok…its been a while since i’ve been depressed so i haven’t been blogging…but guess what! here i am, after getting all the lucky breaks and the blessings and all that jazz…im still here blogging…because i’m freaking depressed!

>>UPDATE<<
a short summary of what has happened since i last blogged…

i went to bora with janus, red, and ramon and had the time of my life. i went boating, watched bonnie bailey, and drank lotsa white russian + malibu coke + (my ultimate favorite) amaretto 7. stayed there for 5 days. it was also at bora that i got the call from chevron for my job interview…and then i finally got the job offer which was a ridiculously exaggerated experience that i wont forget.. how often do u hear a salary offer of twice that what you expected with all the benefits and paid vacations and sick leaves and all that offered to a trainee??! well…thats the case with chevron(check out my forever id pic with chevron)..

i even got an uber kewl workstation/cubicle to boot and a really expensive software training (certification test is 2 weeks away) that will hopefully raise my paygrade… i already got paid twice, and i also haven’t forgotten about blessing those people around me who have been such a support and blessing to me all these years…(and sa mga d ko nalilibre, malilibre ko kayo…….eventually..) i even got to buy myself an ipod shuffle… my parents (and my sisters as well) are also ecstatic since they get a significant portion of my salary… and also, i finally have the blessing of my parents to officially and legally go out and court a girl/go dating…

so there..

with all those blessings and everything, the question that gets pulled out is - why am i depressed?! well, first off…my first gimik with my first salary was really sad because i had imagined it differently…i had pictured her at my side enjoying the first fruits of my labor…then there’s that longing to be comforted after a hard day’s work/training/studying SAP…and then there’s that losing all contact and communication with the one you love..man, that’s wat sucks the most…parang nakabitin ka lang or sumthing, parang d mo alam kung anu status niya and stuff…its really really hard when communication is cut in a relationship…kaya yun…depressed ako…parang ang sama sobrang ng feeling ko, like ther’s a big empty space in my chest.. argh…kaka-aasar.. i swear…

lamo…ayoko na mag paka emo…IF YOUR READING THIS, PLEASE CONTACT ME BECAUSE I REALLY MISS YOU AND NA-PRAPRANING NAKO DITO!!

>>>>>
songs in my brain…
waiting in vain - mymp
leaving you - session road
signal fire - snow patrol
241(my favorite song) - rivermaya
pwede ba - soapdish
stolen - dashboard confessional
so long sweet summer - dashboard confessional
somewhere only we know - keanne
shiver - coldplay
the prayer - bloc party
<<<<<

final grades… CHECK!
clearance… CHECK!
blue roast… CHECK!
graduation… CHECK!

hmmm.. so what comes next???…

***

just got home from my lola’s wake… she died last friday morning, 5:30am, Philippine time… its not that im being an asshole or whatever, pero, kakatapos lang ng grad ko, im supposed to be happy and shit… but im really down and depressed, cuz i really love lola inday, and i miss her already… =’(

anyways, i helped in making this movie, which was basically a collage of pictures of lola inday… what’s wierd is that i didnt feel anything while doing it, but when they showed it before the night’s funeral service… i cried, as in really cried…

its been almost 2 years since iv cried, and i havent cried since lolo passed away, or even when hannah left… iv tried to be strong and put up a strong front, be the happy-go-lucky bibbo everyone knows… pero d tlaga kaya ngyn… this whole set-up friggin sucks… but i know there’s nothing i can do about it… bad trip sobra… i really need a long, reasuring hug from you… pero you’re far away… bad trip… shit… fuck…

this song’s dedicated to you… kilala mo na dapat kung sino ka, plus special mention kay jess, maraming thanks for listening to my ramblings and for giving me one helluva song to be "LSS" to… "he-heh"…

"All these things that ive done" by the Killers

When there’s nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know - no you don’t, you don’t
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out

And when there’s nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain’t changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out
You’re gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you’re gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you’re gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
…

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out
You’re gonna bring yourself down
You’re gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the back burner
Yeah, you’re gonna bring yourself down

Over and out, last call for sin
While everyone’s lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I’ve done
All these things that I’ve done
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

saya sobra ng batangas… parang gusto ko umulit na hindi… gets? its like, i want to experience it all again, but i dont want to go thru it agen "as is"… id like to see more people there, special mention kay father (aka jose vicente aguas)!! ang laking kawalan dude na wala ka dun… anyways, il try to recount it blow by blow…

"the Batangas trip"
abridged, censored, and MALAMANG - Edited…

"he-heh"

DAY 1: March 12, 2007
kita kits kami sa sec-a SPG… bad trip nga lang cuz nag text si fader na hindi daw siya makakasama, pero masaya kami kasi wala si rubis! "he-heh"… around 27 kaming pumunta ng batangas… sa CRV ni mommy janus ako nakasakay, shotgun si red, katabi ko c pat sa likod… nakakatuwa nmn yung papunta, nag stop-over kami sa petron to load up on ciggies and unload our bladders for the long trip ahead, nauna na dun sina allain, sherlz, bodjie, ryan, and raqi… medyo nawala pa nga kami wid the venture after star tollway, tapos yung rough road part going to batangas parang track na pang intial D… "he-heh"… anyways, nag settle in nlng kami pagdating sa place.. ganda nung beach and nung atmosphere… nag billiards kami nung afternoon, tapos beach soccer(football for the purists), tapos swimming na sa beach after… (ayy oo nga pala, tinabunan nmin ng sand si ramonch, tapos ako din na biktima… he-heh) then kain na ng dinner, tapos inayos namin ni jerric yung aming "bar"… dami naming na-"concoct" na drinks! heheheh… bloody bibbo pala ah! heheh… anyways, im guessin its the bartender’s (my) fault kung bakit wasak mga tao nung first nyt.. lalo na yung mga girls! heheh… lets not name names concerning this one, pati narin yung mga nagwawala sa beach at naglalangoy na parang wala siyang salamin na suot! hehehe… got to talk din wid jov, medyo masinsinang usap din yun… tapos inalagaan ko pa si pareng et (na hindi na pare tawag ko dun ngyn.. "he-heh"), tapos yung natuto ng de-oras cuz of me…. (huhuhuh… T_T) oh well, iwas disgrasya lng, noh et?! "he-heh"… then nag-pep talk si jess sakin, tapos yun… natulog nako ng d man lng wasak… haayyyy… oh well…

DAY 2: March 13, 2007
woke up around 8 or 9am… basta!… (DAGDAG - pagising ko, sobrang sama ng hangover ko… sakit sobra sa ulo, d kasi ako nawasak or sumuka…) si red nag-yaya ng breakfast, pag gising ko, nasa 2nd cabana ako (yung malapit sa mga bahay… nasa ryt pag tinignan mo from the sala…)… asteeg nga kasi pag gising ko, may spartan nakong kasama… nakakatawa pa dun, 2 lang kami ni pat na tulog dun, tapos sa kabila, siksikan sila mommy janus atbp. dun! he-heh… anyways, pag gising ko, kain tapos ciggies nlng hangang mag lunch na ulit… he-heh… tapos yung sobrang init na, akyat ako and si red para mag pa-aircon! he-heh… sumunod thereafter si mommy j + patrick… tapos after konting kwentuhan, baba kami… balak ko sana mag swimming, kaso medyo na gg ako sa cabana (yung to the ryt agen)… i think i was there at 3pm, tapos pag gising ko sobrang late na, mga 630pm na ata… malas… oh well, tapos early dinner kami, para maka-start kaagad sa inom… katabi ko si kay sa upuan, inubos namin yung johnny tapos kalahati nung bacardi, medyo tinamaan ako sagad kaya nag senti mode ako and lakad lakad sa beach.. thinking of hana while finishin my ciggies… when i got back, tumba na mga tao… deds na yung spartan namin na naging dog bago mamatay! he-heh… tapos andun narin suka-sisters, and sa kabila namn medyo masinsinang usap sina allain sherlz at karl… well, yun… tapos nag-alaga ng mga tao… after mag settle down mga tao, kami kaming boys nanaman naiwan nakatayo wid "jose" (alter ego ni jom)… tapos kwentuhan kami ni karl, janus, and net sa may beach… medyo bininyagan namin ulit yung batangas, ako, si janus, and si karl! he-heh… tapos si mommy janus had the "munchies", so napilitan kami mag luto bigla.. hindi mga marunong yung mga boyz ng bahay bumukas ng delata using the "hook", yung wierd na pambukas ng delata sa swiss knife at sa multipurpose scissors nung bahay… and then, kain kami sabay sabay parang one big happy all-boys family, tapos after pahinga konti… kanya-kanyang tulog na… kami ni karl nag last check sa lahat ng mga tao, tapos sumik-sik nako wid mommy j and red sa cabana sa left… mga 5am na ata yun…

DAY 3: March 14, 2007
i woke up to edd, bodjie, and KO playing risk… medyo nangulo nlng ako, tapos kain din ng breakfast… tinamad nako magswimming kaya tambay nlng ako playing bridge + laughing my head off with red, jess, jov, and raymond… sobrang sabog namin ni red, hindi na makabasa si eggy! heheheheh….. after that pack-up na for the long ride home.. ako nmn shotgun this time, tapos seatmates si red and patrick… panalo yung star tollway! inabot kami ng 180km/h! faster ever na tinakbo ko… he-heh… nag meet up ulit sa shell para mag dinner, chow king kami nila red + pizza hut combi… medyo sulit naman… downhill na after nun, wala ng spectacular na nangyari… tapos we all met up after sa xavier spg, konting kwentuhan, tapos uwi nako kasabay ko si allain, net, and ryan… ako last na dinrop in that order.. tapos tapus na yung aking batangas vacation!…

(HAAAYYYY + AWWWWW….. SABAY…. "he-heh")

Conclusion…
i wish certain people were present during the whole vacation… i wish hana was there with me, siya nlng kulang para maging perfect yung trip (and sana na basag/wasak din ako nun, kaso kelangan mag bantay eh…) asteeg c karl cajucom at maraming salamat sa kanya for making the batangas trip possible… also, the trip wouldn’t be the same without all the frends who went there to have a great time wid me, special mention sa R-Ebony-Wasp core na andun… sayang talaga wala ka fader! he-heh… hope makasama ko ulit yung mga tao d2 ulit sometime soon… :p

>>>>>
songs in my brain…
all these things that ive done - the killers
never let her slip away - andrew gold
over it - katherine mcphee
my love - justin timberlake
what goes around - justin timberlake
look after you - the fray
nothing in this world - paris hilton
save room - john legend
anna molly - incubus
dig - incubus
listen - stonefree
prinsesa - 6 cycle mind
it ends tonight - the all-american rejects
fall away - the fray
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after 2 days of hell on earth…
after 1 week of blood, sweat, and tears…
after 1 month of pain and suffering…
after 1 sem hardship and trials…
after 4 years of college in ateneo…

FINALLY…

"…it ends tonight…"

the song speaks loads on how i feel tonight… last paper to submit, last requirement to finish before i can truly, deeply say im freaking done with college… its kind of wierd for me to say, i cant help but reflect on the past 4 years of my life in ateneo. it might come out sounding like a reflection paper for theo or philo, but its always wise to reflect on the things that happened, take them apart piece by piece and examine the experience… but it mustn’t be forgotten that these pieces must be put back together and see what all these have come to form - hopefully that is, a better me…

the lifestyle ive maintained has really started to take its toll on my body… kung may boses lang ang katawan ko, malamang medyo asar na siya kay bibbo! hahaha… tancha ko sigawan nako at hingi ng saklolo + tulog! hehehe…

however, its also very important to note that even if im super busy, and kahit sobrang pagod nako… il always have time for that special someone out there… you know who you are! i super mega extreme todo-sagad freakadishously MISS YOU!!!!! hehehe… m here for you, and im willing to go the extra mile… basta kaya ko, susubukan ko gawin para sayo kasi sobrang mahal kita…

anyways, mega-high now… incoming mega-low period within the next three months as reality begins to sink in and life begins to take over… but for now, party na to!! hehehe… next post nlng mga beach songs…

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songs in my brain…
boten anna - basshunter
dota song - basshunter
here in your arms - hellogoodbye
digital love - daft punk
what goes around - justin timberlake
anna molly - incubus
it ends tonight - all-american rejects
dig - incubus
listen - stone free
lonely day - phantom planet
ocean city girl - ivy
sway - the perishers
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